I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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