the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
