well most of my day revolves around power hour
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
