why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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