I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
