last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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