"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
