i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
worst night to have a conscience
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
