Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
