Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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