This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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