I showed him my bush... on skype.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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