I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
