They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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