Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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