"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
