Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
