FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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