I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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