I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
