yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
