Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
