but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
