I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
