My room smells like vodka and shame
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize