Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
