Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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