and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Did I show you my penis last night?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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