Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
