How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
