I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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