i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
