ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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