He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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