This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
