ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
