I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
