i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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