What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
