I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
