I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
