FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
