What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
