Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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