Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
