he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
