we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
