It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
