In America we eat man semen.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i think i just lost a toe
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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