yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
