Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
