My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
