Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
