I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
