just tell him i said nine months
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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